As I've said before, I read a lot of books and blogs when I first started my adventure with WatchParty (which was called "WatchWord" back then). Guy Kawasaki was an early favorite, and of course the brilliant gents at Venture Hacks, and many more. One of the great things I learned from all my reading was how to be prepared for failure, since they all stressed repeatedly that the vast majority of startups do fail, often through no fault of their own.

This knowledge helped me considerably in the first couple of months. Knowing that my idea would most likely fail, I lived by the mantra "Not today." I had a ritual every morning when I woke up: I acknowledged that WatchWord would most likely fail and listed in my mind the things that could kill it (too much competition, a bad business model, no investment, poorly-chosen co-founders). Then I would say to myself, "Not today. WatchWord will not die today." I wouldn't let myself think about the next month or the next year - just what I needed to do to keep WatchWord alive that day.

It worked. WatchWord became WatchParty, then WatchParty, Inc.  We bootstrapped development of a product, got some investment, decided our first product wasn't viable and killed it, and started again from scratch. WatchParty won't die today, or tomorrow, or even in a few months. And that's a really exciting - and scary - prospect.

You see, the daily recognition that I would probably fail was incredibly stressful. Failure was almost inevitable, so the only way to go on was to find hope in the future. "When we get investors, things will be easier. When we have a product, it'll be more fun. When we have customers, things won't be so stressful."

Today WatchParty isn't an idea, it's a company. We've reached important milestones. We have investors, and bills, and developers who are actually the writing code that really is a product. I'm constantly thinking two, three, four months into the future. Failure now couldn't be written off with "Oh, well, we tried." Failure now means we've squandered other people's money - and our own. Failure now won't be determined by things beyond my control, it will be determined by things entirely within my control.

So now there are no silver linings. Every day is so stressful that the stress I experienced three months ago looks like bliss in retrospect. And it's only going to get worse. Now I cannot imagine any time in the future that might be less stressful than today. I have come to understand that success can be much more stressful than failure.

But I love it. I wouldn't have it any other way. Nothing I have ever done in my life, except fatherhood, has been more exciting, more challenging, or more rewarding than starting WatchParty and building it to where it is today (which isn't really anywhere, I know, but it's a long way from where it started). I know tomorrow will be more stressful than today, but it will also be more invigorating and thrilling. I can't wait.